User Profile

Conceived in a Holiday Inn and born in the slums of Vermont I was raised mostly in the backwater swamps of Northern Louisiana. I attended private school until I became painfully aware that my poverty status wasn't winning me any influence with the kids who's dads were chiropractors and heirs to the friendly entrepreneurs who invented packing stickers. Upon arrival at my first public school I came to be known as a child genius when held up to the typical substandard Louisiana education. When we moved to Dallas I thought the big time must be around the next corner.

Through much hard work and daydreaming I found myself a teenager in the San Fernando Valley. My only friends were punks, goths, mods and amorous 30 year old leasing agents. I soon became the Jane Goodall of LSD and methamphetamine and traded in my skateboard and Doc Martins for a pair of striped tights and a Joan Crawford-esque attitude.

Reaching adulthood I took shelter from my mother's nomadic ways by moving in with my girlfriend and her biker father. Things were great between her and I until it was decided that we preferred screaming and calling each other all manner of horrid names to love, understanding and intercourse.

There's a large black period here. Something to do with working the graveyard shift and scraping change for cigarettes and malt liquor. I lived by a freeway, the constant rush of traffic kept my anxiety at bay.

Years later I pulled myself up by the boot straps and became engaged to a UCLA graduate. I took to writing a myriad of unpublished screenplays and fancied myself a more upscale Bukowski.

We moved to San Francisco so she could attend graduate school and gradually she attended school no more. I took up the guitar and hit the bottle with great zeal. I hated staying out late and she never wanted to come home and watch me rage against the machine so eventually I was kicked out of our cozy little home and out on the streets. I stayed there as long as it took to load the U-haul. I was instantly replaced by her friends next door neighbor. He delighted in resting his feet on the coffee table I no longer had space for.

As time went on I got better at the guitar and I started writing songs. I tried to be a hipster but no one believed me and I couldn't fit into the dusty vintage clothes required by scene law. I met another girl who seemed to understand me. I am still with her today. I formed a band and people liked us. I sat at my day job listening to 80s music and planning my hostile takeover of the SF music scene. I do my best, but I am given to fits of apathy and boredom. I'll be sure to let you know when the tide has turned.

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